21
David Count Da Guys Dat Fight
(2 Samuel 24:1-25)
1 Dat time, Satan start fo make trouble fo da Israel guys. He make David tink az good fo him count da Israel peopo. 2 So David tell Joab an da main leadas fo da army guys, “Go count how much Israel guys get, from Beer-Sheba town south side all da way Dan side north side. Den bring me da numbas, fo me know how much guys get.”
3 But Joab tell, “Fo shua, you da king, an you my boss! An I like fo Da One In Charge make one hundred times mo army guys den we get now, fo fight. But all da army guys stay ready fo do how you like awready! So, how come you like make lidis?! How come you like make da Israel peopo get blame?! No good, dat!”
4 But wat King David tell, mo strong den wat Joab tell. So Joab leave Jerusalem an go all ova da Israel land, an den go back Jerusalem side. 5 Joab give David da numbas, how much fighta guys dey wen line up an count. From all ova Israel, get 1,100,000 guys dat know how fo use sword. 470,000 a dem come from da Judah ohana.
6 But Joab no count da Levi ohana guys o da Benjamin ohana guys, cuz he figga az real bad, wat da king wen tell um fo do. 7 An da way God see wat David tell Joab fo do, he tell az real bad too. So God punish da Israel guys.
8 Den David tell God, “I wen do one real bad ting wen I do dat. Now, I beg you, take away da blame from me, cuz I wen make real stupid kine.”
9 Gad was one guy dat see wat Da One In Charge show um. So Da One In Charge tell Gad, 10 “Go tell David, ‘Dis wat Da One In Charge tell. You can pick from three tings I goin tell you. Pick one a dem. Den I goin make dat happen to you.’ ”
11 So Gad go by David, an tell um, “Dis wat Da One In Charge tell: ‘Pick one:
12 fo three year nobody goin get food fo eat;
o fo three month da guys dat stay agains you goin chase you guys all ova da place wit swords an catch you up;
o fo three days Da One In Charge goin use his sword—dat mean, he goin sen one real bad kine sick all ova da Israel land, an da killa angel guy from Da One In Charge goin wipe out peopo all ova da Israel land.’
Now tink bout um, an tell me wat I goin tell da One wen sen me.”
13 David tell Gad, “Ho! I presha out! Mo betta let Da One In Charge be da one fo punish me, cuz he pity peopo plenny. But no let peopo punish me!”
14 So Da One In Charge sen one real bad kine sick on top da Israel peopo, an 70,000 Israel guys mahke. 15 Befo God pau, he sen one angel guy Jerusalem town, fo wipe um out. But wen da angel guy start fo wipe out da peopo, God Da One In Charge see um. He change his mind bout how he goin make bad to da peopo, jalike he wen start fo do. He tell da angel guy, “Nuff awready! Stop!” Wen Da One In Charge tell dat, da angel guy stay stan by da open place wea Ornan da Jebus guy split his wheat from da junk kine stuff.
16 David look up an see da angel guy from Da One In Charge dat stan wit da sky ova him an da earth undaneat him. He carry one sword inside his hand, an he hold um out ova Jerusalem. David an da older leadas put on burmbag kine clotheses, an dey go down an put dea face on top da groun.
17 David tell God, “Me, I da guy dat wen tell dat dey gotta count da guys dat can fight. I da guy dat wen do dat bad kine ting an make odda peopo get hurt. Dese guys, dey jalike sheeps, dey neva do notting wrong. My God, Da One In Charge, try bus up me an my faddah ohana, but no let dis real bad kine sick hurt yoa peopo no moa.”
18 Da angel guy from Da One In Charge tell Gad fo tell David go build one altar fo Da One In Charge, on top da open place wea Ornan da Jebus guy stay split his wheat from da junk kine stuff. 19 So David go up dea fo do wat Da One In Charge wen tell Gad fo tell David. Gad use Da One In Charge name fo tell David wat fo do.
20 Ornan stay split da wheat, but he turn aroun an spock da angel guy. Ornan four boys stay wit him, an dey go hide. 21 Wen David come by Ornan, Ornan see him. He come out from wea he working, an go down in front David, an put his face on top da groun.
22 David tell um, “I like buy dis place you use fo clean da wheat, fo build one altar hea fo make sacrifice fo Da One In Charge. I goin pay you good fo da whole place, cuz az how da bad kine sick dat stay on top all da peopo no goin be no moa.”
23 Ornan tell David, “Take um! You my boss, da king! I like you do wateva you tink az good fo do! Look, I goin give da cows I stay use hea, fo you make burn up kine sacrifices! I give da wood frames we use fo split da wheat from da junks, fo burn up da sacrifice! I give da wheat fo make da wheat kine sacrifice! I give you da whole ting!”
24 But King David tell Ornan, “No way! I gotta pay da whole cost! I no goin lif up wat stay yoas, fo me give um to Da One In Charge an not you! I no goin make one burn up kine sacrifice wit someting dat no cost me notting!”
25 So David pay Ornan fifteen poun gold fo da place. 26 David build one altar fo Da One In Charge ova dea, an make burn up kine sacrifices an da kine sacrifices dat show dat him an Da One In Charge stay tight. He call to Da One In Charge, an Da One In Charge ansa him wit fire from da sky dat come down on top da altar fo da burn up kine sacrifice.
27 Den Da One In Charge tell da angel guy put back his sword inside da bag. 28 Was den, afta David see dat Da One In Charge wen ansa him on top da place wea Ornan da Jebus guy clean da wheat, dat David make odda sacrifices ova dea too. 29 Cuz da Tent Fo Meet Wit Da One In Charge dat Moses wen make inside da boonies, still stay on top da sacrifice place Gibeon side dat time. Same ting fo da altar fo make burn up kine sacrifice. 30 But David no can go Gibeon side in front dat altar, fo find out from God wat fo do, cuz he real sked a da sword dat da angel from Da One In Charge carry.